It's kind of hard to wrap my mind around 50 pounds.
Part of me has a hard time believing I got to 290 pounds, that I "let myself go" as some people say, but in reality, it crept up on me.
I used to work in the weight loss industry, and when I left I had the thoughts of "I'll never get that bad. I know what I need to do in order to lose or maintain, I'll be fine." In fact, I remember at one point thinking if I ever reached a certain weight or certain sized clothing I'd end it all.
I got close, but luckily I never got there.
I woke up before it got that bad.
I'm not even sure what my "A-ha!" moment was, I just simply knew I had to change, so I did. I started an unconventional journey, but I'm proud of my journey.
It has taken me 4 years to get here, but I can finally say I did it.
Wait... FOUR YEARS?
Now, I know what you're thinking- That's not very inspirational. In fact, you're also probably thinking "Oh girl, you can't know what I'm going through, you see, I need to lose this weight NOW, I can't wait around for four years to feel like anything's changed. I need the instant gratification, I need this weight gone NOW.
I know you're thinking that because I heard it. In a hotel room.
I was in San Diego for a training class for the weight loss company I worked for, and my room mate had met someone at the gym who wanted to know more about the program. She brought the woman back to our room and the woman was excited for my roommate's weight loss and she turned to me and asked me how much I had lost. I explained that I had lost ten pounds over about 4 months, and she brushed me off, saying "Girl, that's not motivational. If I'm going to join a program, I want to see results NOW. I can't wait around no 4 months to fit into a smaller dress, I need to see those results like yesterday!" She then turned her back on me, basically telling me I no longer existed to her.
It was a hard blow, because in my mind ten pounds is ten pounds, no matter how long it takes. I maybe hadn't put my whole heart into it, which is why it took me so long, but I had still lost the weight and was enjoying the fact my pants weren't ripping when I bent over.
Fast forward to today, and I know you're thinking "Well, fifty pounds over four years isn't exactly fast..."
No, it's not, but here's one important reminder I tell myself:
That's about ten pounds a year that not only do I lose, but MAINTAIN through the rest of the year until motivation strikes again.
How many people have started a crash diet, or a good diet with the best of intentions, lost a few pounds, then something happens to make them give up, and within a few weeks or months they have gained back all their weight and then some?
They didn't learn healthy habits during their weight loss. They simply did what the program told them to do- took the pills, drank the shakes, ate the food, but never were they faced with the real life situations while on the diet. They might have lost the weight in order to be in a wedding, and had a few too many drinks at the reception, or ate too many pieces of cake, etc, but they didn't sit down and think "What is a healthier option for me here?" because they hadn't been taught how to handle real life situations.
Now, I'm not perfect by any stretch of the imagination, and I have a long way to go, but this me, starting that journey with you.
I know there are days where you just to say "Fuck it" and have an extra bowl of ice cream, and in all honesty, that's ok. It's what you do the next day that will make the difference in whether you gain, lose, or maintain.
Trust me, I know all about it. On vacation earlier this month there was a day in which I had ice cream for breakfast and ice cream for dinner. I didn't beat myself up, though, as it was a special celebration, I was on vacation, I had still been watching my portions, and still exercising, even while on my trip. Circumstances lead to the ice cream twice that day, and I figured you only live once, and why not indulge? Tomorrow was a new day, I could always get back on track then.
So I did, and when I got back I had actually lost weight, even with ice cream twice in one day.
Don't beat yourself up, forgive yourself, and realize tomorrow is a new day.
Until next time,
Karin
